Cake is cake. So why spend thousands upon thousands?

I recently came across this article on a friend's Facebook page, and couldn't agree more with the writer's point: weddings are too expensive. And when I say "too expensive," what I mean is insanely over the top.

Let me first say, if you are a professional making bank in a high paying job and spending money is no big deal, then by all means, spend $30,000 on your wedding (and hire me to plan it). But when we come back to reality, the truth is, most of us aren't making a lot per year, and have a lot of things we would like to buy after we get married and start our new lives...namely a house and a car. And that's not even mentioning that a lot of couples eventually want babies and babies are adorable money sucking monsters.

On top of all of this, we are in the midst of a student loan crisis, with debt topping $1 trillion, a number that impacts most of the marrying population. What this means is that MOST of us can't afford to have the weddings we're Pinning to our Pinterest boards, but most of us are still having them. Why?

Chalk it up to the industry, pressure from richer friends who've had blow out weddings, the media, whatever. Fact is, we're disillusioned by how much weddings should cost, and most of us are too tired or too stressed to negotiate anything better. Or, we are just too stubborn to realize that it isn't practical to spend $20,000 on one night, when that money could be used to pay off student loans, buy a really nice car or put a huge chunk down on a home.

With all of this in mind, I wanted to share some advice to encourage my budget conscious brides that there is hope, based on my experiences in planning.

1. I want to be a wedding planner, so I am really detail oriented and notice things. However, most people don't. You will spend hours and hours on the perfect decoration or centerpiece, and 7 out of 10 people won't think anything more of it than "nice." Don't kill yourself.

2. The nicest weddings I have ever been to were ones in backyards where the Bride and Groom set up folding tables and served food potluck style. We ate (a lot) we danced (a lot) and we had (a lot) of fun. And it still felt like a wedding.

3. If you can't spend the money, don't try to have the big wedding. The worst thing you could do is try to do everything and have people walk away saying, "That was a budget wedding," as if budgets are the plague. You want your guests to feel honored, so pick ONE thing that really matters and plan everything else around it. Case in point: my friend Kristina's wedding. They wanted to have dancing, but were having their reception in the afternoon. It didn't make sense to plan a sit down meal at 3:00 when the budget didn't allow, but also wasn't very feasible to expect guests to stay forever with no food. Thus, the hybrid cake and punch reception was formed, with just enough dancing to get everyone going and just enough cupcakes to keep us satisfied. It was beautiful and everyone was happy.

4. This may seem counterintuitive, but hire a PRACTICAL wedding planner. There are planners out there who won't charge you an arm and a leg (*cough cough* me), who really have a passion for what they do and want to help you out. Yes, this bullet is a shameless plug for my business, but if you've been reading the blog for any length of time, you know that I really love what I do and really believe that you shouldn't have to spend a bazillion dollars to have a gorgeous day. A good planner will work with you within your budget and try to take the legwork out of the equation so that you can focus on having fun and making memories. They are worth the money spent, because they can negotiate for you and have the expertise to help you save money where it counts.

5. Finally, Pinterest is your frienemy. Events are about the people, not about the stuff, and rarely do we pin pictures of people eating food or dancing to our wedding boards. Here's the thing though- unless you're having 10 foot candelabras as centerpieces, serving filet mignon and bottles of Dom, or handing out Rolexes for favors, people won't remember those elements of your wedding. What they will remember is the look on your Groom's face when you come down the aisle, the way your Dad cried when he gave you away, the laughs they had around their table while eating, and singing their lungs out to "Summer Lovin'" at your reception. Focus on what matters, and you will have a beautiful wedding.

Images via Hot Pink Brides and the Kitchn.